Saturday, January 21, 2006
now i finally understand how sad it was when u see someone who u loved is feeling sad ....
i am sad ...
my heart feel painful...
the broke into pieces because of the pain u feel for someone
i wait from the day to the night
from the noisy playground to a place like a silent graveyard
the laughter and the sadness all hurting my heart
my heart told me i will never left her alone ..
in the reality i couldnt do it ...
the sadness she feel n the hurts she receive like
thousands of waves ... beating me over and over again
life is not as strong as wat we think
the cheerful mindset will never stay
just wondering when will the sadness go away
life is forever unfair
thats y we dun want to stay but run away
a simple life is yet to be ...
how i wish i can have the freedom of bee
when the one u love was suffering
u cant imagine how deep she was hurting
the choice is in ur mind always beautiful
but the funny thing of human
is it seldom come true
u can be hack care for anyone but u will nv dun care abt someone
the one u love is always the one
this is something like a unspoken truth
u will say no to everything or everyone in the word but there is someone
u will always say yes because she is the one in ur heart
within my room
i cried n cried
however at the moment of leaving this room
i got to be a cheerful and happy
elder brother and
parent's son
its so ironic
when i listen to the cars
passing by my house the noises made by them sounds
like they are laughing at me
they laugh at me y am i got to behave in this way
but i just wondering
do i have a choice
my father might be lose his job
how can i not worry
i want the freedom but is seems so far for me
i know it will never come
being someone like me is the experience of
double character training
hahz
wat the hell is this cant be the true-self
wat is the purpose of my life
is it just to be like a robot listen to every single order
and follow instructions
wat the hell
i am a human
its so damn it ..
i make my dear feel so sad ..
i jus wondering wat the hell
is me doing
wat a big stupid retard i am ...
damn it
i dunno
ar ... tired and tired
each time i feel this way just made me wonder again why am i here in the world
in the first place
why i dun just go and
DIEthat will be easier at least there will be no more pressure
those stupid pressure will only made people feel
extremely tired
and to me
this kind of pressure i am not experience once or twice
only ..
it seems like a forever nightmare to me ..
it will nv stop and ever stop
i have this
but wat is the point of hating this while i cant help myself
i want to give up to the reality let the reality take over the control of me
however on the other hand i got to face it
there is nowhere i can run
nowhere i can go
of coz there is nowhere i can hide
thinking of the baby time
thre is always a baby concer for me to hide
now i got to stand up right n face watever damn shit that is
going to over take me
damn it i dun want to be take over by the reality
that not wat i want
wat the hell
but i got nothing to fight with with the stupid reality
i got
NOTHINGthe only thing i can do is
yea u defeated me
yea u win
i am
NOTHINGand always NOTHING!!!sorry dear for making u so sad...
its all darling's fault ... making u feel so bad
very sorry ...
hope u will forgive me ...
take goo care...
love u always ...
full of LOVE at
11:00 PM